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Valley World: The Ratchet Diaries of STD/DreamDaddyDenise
#DreamDaddyDenise is the seventh episode of Valley World. Episode SCENE 1 Confessionals SOFRITA: So I’ve decided to return to school after I realized that prom was coming up and I so do not want Deandra to take the crown. Like I would literally die. Last year I won the crown, well technically I didn’t win, I snatched the actual prom queen’s weave and beat her ass until she gave it up…. Like I’m sorry but I needed to be prom queen. And besides the bitch who I snatched the crown from now has a nose job and looks WAY better than she did for. I call it a win-win, like she should be thanking me. At Valley World High School, Sofrita is working on the prom committee as she and Deandra are selling tickets to students. SOFRITA: Where the fuck is Tanedra? DEANDRA: Idk…But ever noticed how perfect Jenna is? SOFRITA: You are such a prostitute. DEANDRA: Huh? SOFRITA: You’re kissing her ass like she’s your pimp or something and it’s annoying me more than the Jesus loving incest freak you usually were. Confessionals DEANDRA: Is it me or did for the first time since kindergarten….Sofrita has complimented me. Confessionals off LACI: Hey girls… can I buy a ticket? DEANDRA: Do you even go here? SOFRITA: Yeah….aren’t you like in your 20s? LACI: Ohh, I’m here under MTV business and I’ll be announcing the prom queen and king winners. Laci hands over the money and Deandra gives her a ticket. LACI: I’m really enjoying your show. Laci walks away. SCENE 2 Tanedra is in the saw-like room as she talks with Lee. TANEDRA: Why did you give Deandra up?.... it’s because she’s annoying right.? LEE: No…it’s harder to explain. But I love Deandra. I never wanted to give her up but her father Jesus. TANEDRA: Wait….her dad is called Jesus? LEE: Oh sorry I call him Jesus….it’s actually pronounced HEY-Zeus. But I told me to give her up for adoption because he didn’t want a baby interfering with our sex life. Tanedra gives Lee a weird look. LEE: Well….I know now I was wrong. Don’t blame me, I was high on a lot of painkillers at the time….I even named her Bebe before Daphne adopted her and gave her a new name. TANEDRA: Hah…Bebe. The Masked Barbie walks in an injects Tanedra and Lee with something that puts them to sleep. Confessionals TANEDRA: I’ve not been high since I was 14….it feels good. SCENE 3 Back at Valley World High School, Deandra is managing the prom queen and prom king voting booth. ELLISE: I’m triggered. DEANDRA: What a surprise. ELLISE: No…This is a good a reason to be triggered… The idea of a prom king and prom queen is such a weird concept for me. DEANDRA: Okay…why? ELLISE: It’s so constructed as a gender, like why does a king have to be a boy, and queen got to be a girl… like why can’t we call them Promple. DEANDRA: Promple? ELLISE: Prom + People = Promple DEANDRA: Why are you even talking to me? You and your friends want me and my kinda-friends dead. ELLISE: High school’s nearly over… and I’m going to college for gender studies. So I realized it was sexist of me to wish death on another woman. Erma walks over. ERMA: Ew get away from these sluts. You’ll end up with herpes. Ellise changes her mood. ELLISE: Yeah…. Get away from me you little skitch. Erma and Ellise walk away. Sofrita is decorating the school when Consuela appears. CONSUELA: Sofrita, baby girl…Do you know where Jenna is? SOFRITA: As in our executive producer? As in Deandra’s scissor sister? CONSUELA: Yes. SOFRITA: Oh…she’ll be here in like 2 hours. You can help while you wait. CONSUELA: I’ve got no time to wait. I’m trying to save your skin. HESTER: I can help Sofrtia. CONSUELA: There, this weird girl can help you. SOFRITA: Please don’t leave me alone with her. CONSUELA: Why? SOFRITA: Because if anyone here is trying to kill me it’s this bitch. CONSUELA: Oh. Please everyone knows by now she’s a red herring. Consuela walks away and gets into her car. Jenna is in the backseat with a gun pointing at Consuela’s head. JENNA: You’re going to do as I say otherwise your brain will be all over the dashboard…. Now drive. SCENE 4 Back in the saw-like room, Tanedra gets a visit from a “dream ghost”. DENISE: Ohh my baby girl…wake tf up. TANEDRA: Wh-what mom? DENISE: The one and only…well sort off… there are many moms on this planet, some alive, some dead and others aren’t even human. TANEDRA: What are you doing here? DENISE: Some call them a dream ghost, others call them spirit guides, so I guess that’s me. TANEDRA: So you’re going to save me? DENISE: Of course honey. Who do you think the Masked Barbie is? TANEDRA: Deandra obvi. DENISE: No!!! It’s not your friends…. Look closer at the evidence and tell me who is more likely to kill you? And wake up because some freaky shit is happening to your body. Tanedra in her delirium sings the Savannah Louisiana theme song. Tanedra (singing): My fans are so dumb when they can’t tell a girl like me could double like a super staaaaaaaar…You get the best of two sides of the same coin, chill it out don’t take it slow….then you smoke a little weed after the show. You get the best of two sides of the same coin.. put on a wig and realize that your fans are dumb as shit. MASKED BARBIE: HAHA! I’ve got you sluts now. Your all gonna die… once I get the verdict from the fans. Lee and Tanedra wake up to realize that their heads are trapped inside fish bowls attached to a hose which will fill up with water when the fans vote on Jenna’s website on which one of the two die. TANEDRA: wtf. Please don’t kill me. SCENE 5 In Consuela’s car, Jenna takes Consuela to a ledge. CONSUELA: So you’re the killer aren’t you? JENNA: No but I know the true identity of the killer. You’ll never found out who she is because you’ll be dead. CONSUELA: But I thought you weren’t the killer. JENNA: I’m not but I’ll do anything for the Valley Girls to get a second season. CONSUELA: You are dumb as shit. JENNA: Huh? Confessionals CONSUELA: Like this bitch is dumber than a one-legged hooker. Bitch, isn’t it obvious by now that the killer wants the valley girls dead. JENNA: OMFG. Confessionals off. JENNA: No matter, you won’t be around to see it all anyways. Jenna points the gun at Consuela. JENNA: Whatever you found on my blog you must know I’m not the only author. The Masked Barbie is running a poll right now as we speak and…It was never my intention to have any of the girls killed but I’m more than willing to sacrifice one lamb for the price of two… and some views. Hahaha. CONSUELA: You are insane. FINAL SCENE The countdown to the poll that decides the fate of either Tanedra or Lee countsdown and it’s revealed that Lee is the unlucky death and the fish tank fills up with water as Lee struggles with breath. TANEDRA: OMG. Still slightly drugged, Tanedra hallucinates Denise showing her an exit, a hammer and a pipe. Tanedra breaks free from the rope holding her while the Masked Barbie is distracted as Lee is dying. Tanedra then uses the hammer to break the pipes causing a meltdown in the Masked Barbie’s control room, allowing Tanedra to flee from the area as Lee takes her final breathe. TANEDRA: Oml. I’m totally going to miss prom. Tanedra arrives at Sofrita’s home while the girls are getting dressed for prom. SOFRITA: I’ve taken extra precssions tonight to ensure the Masked Barbie doesn’t ruin my chances of being prom queen. TANEDRA: What? SOFRITA: I invited a celebrity to be my date. DEANDRA: Well, I’m going to meet Jenna. TANEDRA: Omg bitch…snap out of it. Jenna is a fraud. She was literally going to kill me or that detective bitch. Sorry, Leaky Bum is dead. And also my mom’s dream ghost helped me to escape. DEANDRA: But she’s dead. TANEDRA: Hence dream ghost… duh. SOFRITA: Alright sluts. Listen loud and clear. We must unite together for prom to be lit af and we need to find out who the Masked Barbie is once and for all. Now, Connie bring me and the girls some refreshments. Connie? CONSUELA?? Where are you?? The Valley Girls realize that Consuela never came home because her car isn’t in the driveway. Sofrita rushes out to the driveway and falls to her knees. SOFRITA: CONNIE!!!!!!!???????? Elsewhere, Consuela is driving in her car with blood on her face as Jenna’s voice is heard in the backseat. CONSUELA: No one puts Connie in a corner. Finally, the Masked Barbie takes Sofrita’s name out of the voting boxes and replaces her name with Ellise and Erma’s names. MASKED BARBIE: Looks like you’re not the only Queen Be-atch at Valley World High School. Category:Valley World: The Ratchet Diaries of STD Episodes